Embarking on a journeying of flora parenthood is filled with excitement , expectancy , and , sometimes , unexpected hilarity .
fall in me as I partake my uproarious adventures in horticulture , where thing did n’t always go grant to plan .
From fanatic lacrimation to plant identity crises , these chronicle will resonate with anyone who ’s ever examine their hand at bring up nature . Here are 10 costa - tickling moral learned from the trial and tribulations of a wannabe gardener .
1. Overwatering Is Just Love in Disguise
I thought my plant would thrive on attention . Turns out , submerge them in water is n’t “ love”—it ’s tedious - motion flora murder . Now I ’m haunted by the ghost of my first ivy arum , who definitely did n’t need day-after-day hydration .
2. Naming Plants Doesn’t Save Them
certainly , giving my monstera a cute name like “ Monstie Elliott ” felt endearing . But no amount of cagey punning can save a plant from my inability to figure out “ indirect sunlight . ”
3. Pest Invasions Are a Plant Parent’s Worst Nightmare
Nothing prepares you for the horror of fungus gnats flying out of your lever violin - foliage Ficus carica . I tried every remedy under the sunlight — cinnamon , dish soap , even begging — but those tiny demons laughed in my face .
4. Propagation: Instagram vs. Reality
Everyone on social media makes propagating works look effortless . Meanwhile , my attempts resulted in jar of mirky urine and soggy stems that smell like frustration .
5. Some Plants Just Want to Die
No matter what you do , there ’s always that one plant life that ’s like , “ Nah , I ’m beneficial . ” rive to my maidenhair fern , which survive a whopping 72 hour before dramatically crumple like a priggish maiden .
6. Succulents Are Sneaky
“ They ’re miserable - sustentation , ” they said . “ You ca n’t kill them , ” they said . Then why does my succulent see like it ’s auditioning forThe Walking Dead ?
7. The Sun Can Be a Frenemy
plant need sunlight , but evidently , nottoo much . Who knew that pass on my monstera outside for a “ sunbath ” would sprain it into a crispy foliage disaster ? Not me , obviously
8. Pinterest Plant Shelves Are a Scam
Those lackadaisical plant shelf on Pinterest are a lie . Mine ended up look more like a hobo camp where things survive to die . And yes , it take on two drained ferns to understand this .
9. Plant Grief Is Real
When you accidentally pop a plant , it ’s not just about the money — it ’s the pity . I held a tiny commemoration for my spider plant , staring with a devout apologia for overrate my skills .
10. One Leaf Can Make It All Worthwhile
Despite the chaos , there ’s nothing like the sheer joy of see a fresh leafage unfurl . That individual victory make you forget about all the plants you ’ve sent to an early tomb . ( Looking at you , Fernie Sanders . )
Being a plant life parent is messy , uproarious , and occasionally tragic . But for every leaf that die , there ’s a lesson learned — and maybe , just perchance , a newfangled plant to try again with .
So to all the struggling flora parents out there : you ’re not alone . Keep grow ( or at least keep trying ) ! 🌱
© ktzorn
© littlehikerbird
© plant_is_bae
© ifunnyofficial2023
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© sandiaseed
